Heart and Soul New Beginings
by kst1233
Summary: Tara is in love, but it's not with Steed. Chapter 12 has been revised because I didn't like the ending. Hopefuly you will like it better too. Any reviews are greatly appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

New Beginnings 

Tara surveyed the room with utter boredom The party like atmosphere did nothing to quench it. She didn't like parties, never had, yet here she was stuck at one trying to be congenial to the handsome but boring man at her side who had been following her around the room all afternoon trying to engage her in a conversation. He seemed oblivious to her attempts to move away from him and hide herself in a corner somewhere until this was all over. She tried once again.

"That all sounds very lovely I'm sure. Excuse me. I think Mother wishes to see me. Tara said absently and walked away, leaving her companion staring at her with his mouth wide open. He had been telling her about a gruesome murder case he had single handedly solved and her reaction had been to call it "Lovely".

Relived that he wasn't following her, she made her way over to Mother and Rhonda to say her goodbyes. With Steed on holiday and no one else there to keep her company, she really saw no point in staying. This impromptu party had been brought on by a very successfully resolved case that most of the men in the room had been working on for months. She and Steed had not been involved in it so she couldn't very well feel the elation and relief of the others around her. As she got closer to Mother sitting in his wheelchair drinking a glass of champagne she saw he was involved in conversation with a dark haired, tall young man. Tara hesitated for a moment, not wanting to interrupt. Besides, the view in front of her was extremely pleasant and she wished to enjoy it for just a minute more.

The young man in question looked to be about twenty four or twenty five, dark brown straight hair that had an endearing look of messiness to it, yet was well groomed. He was tall, around six foot four, and very well built. And his face, Tara could not get enough of that handsome face. His deep set hazel eyes, his strong chin and mouth. When he smiled she saw white, even teeth gleaming. His lips were full and sensuous. His tailored blue suit spoke of pure English Gentleman, but by the way Mother was laughing at something he said and the bright spark in his eye, she thought there must be a bit of the rogue in him which she liked even better.

She wanted to go over there, but her feet stayed firmly planted right where she stood. She was afraid that if she went she would do something or say something stupid and embarrass herself in front of him now and forever. For the first time in her life she felt unsure of herself, all of her self confidence gone. Oh where was John when she needed him? He could have introduced her to him and she wouldn't have felt so self conscious. She felt a bit guilty at the thought though. She and Steed were close. Very close. In fact, until just a few months ago had been even closer. But they both found eventually that while they loved each other dearly as friends and working partners, neither one was in love with the other and Tara would not sleep with a man she felt she was not in love with. She wanted a solid relationship and Steed couldn't give it to her. Oh the lovemaking was wonderful. He was sweet, gentle, kind, but she wanted something more. Neither one regretted their decision. Both felt their friendship to precious to compromise, but sometimes, laying alone in her bed at night, knowing that Steed was just a phone call away, Tara began to feel very lonely. She wanted someone who truly belonged in her life. Someone to love her. Someone to love.

Tara suddenly realized that Mother was motioning to her with a bit of impatience. He must have been trying to get her attention for some time. Blushing, she slowly walked over, keeping her eyes on Mother because she didn't dare look at the man who was watching her as intently as she had been watching him just moments earlier. She felt more self conscious then ever before as she caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye.

"My dear Miss King. Have you met Roger Lars yet? He's been stationed in Berlin for the past three years. He's here on leave because his mother has been ill. But she's alright now Lars?"

"Uhm..sorry. What?"

"Your mother. She's getting well? Good heavens. What's the matter with you man?" Mother demanded as he saw the slack look in Lars' face.

When Mother had introduced Miss King to him, he instinctively had held his hand out to her in greeting. When she took it, he felt her tremble just a bit, but it didn't matter. His was shaking a bit too. Who was this incredibly beautiful girl? He had given her an appraising look when she had stood across the room. His breath had caught in his throat when he saw her. Tall, slender, incredible bright green eyes, her dark hair perfectly coiffed and framing her soft, sweet face. This delicate looking creature was an agent? Unbelievable He had to get to know her. He had a feeling that there was a lot to discover in the beautiful Miss King and he intended to find it all out. Lars cleared his throat again as he tore his eyes away from the vision in front of him and focused back on Mother's question.

"Oh um yes. She's getting better every day."

"Good to hear it. And you Tara? Feeling better now dear girl? Wrist is almost well?"

"Yes, it's doing fine. Mother, I'm sorry. I'm not feeling very well. I must go." Tara said confusedly.

When Roger had taken her hand in his she suddenly became very nervous. What was the matter with her? She had never felt this way before. Strong willed and very independent, no man had ever made her want to just sink to her knees before. Who was this man who could hold such power over her with just a touch? She meant to find out everything she could, but first she needed to get away and think. The room was too close, there were too many people around and she started to feel dizzy with all the turmoil spinning around in her head and heart.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Hope it's not the flu. Been going around here, knocking down our agents one by one. Go home and rest child." Mother said sympathetically.

"Are you well enough to drive Miss King? I could take you home if you like and bring you back to pick up your car when you are feeling better." Lars offered.

Tara stared at him for just a second wanting desperately to say yes, but really wanting to get away and think for awhile. She blushed hotly under his gaze.

"Thank you, but no. I'll be all right." Tara hurried away, kicking herself for not saying yes. She quickly made her way to her car and opened the door but before she could get in she felt a gently restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Miss King? Would it be all right if I rang you later to see how you are feeling?" Roger Lars stood there looking down into her eyes. Tara blushed again.

"Yes. It would be all right." Tara reached into her car and pulled out a small card out of the glove box.

"Here's my number." Tara blushed some more when his hand touched hers as he took the card without even looking at it.

"Perhaps if you are feeling better we could go out to dinner." He said quietly. Tara noticed for the first time that the hand he had used to stop her with was still on her shoulder.

"I would like that very much."

"Good. I'll ring you around five to see how you are feeling."

Unable to think of anything else to say, Tara nodded and got into her car. Roger backed up as she turned the ignition and put it into gear. She glanced into her side mirror and saw him standing there watching her drive away. It didn't make sense to her that she should still feel the warm pressure of his hand on her shoulder or that it should send delicious shivers of anticipation down her spine.

Tara lay awake for hours that night, thinking about the wonderful evening she had had with Roger. Not only had they gone to dinner, but they went dancing as well. She could still feel his arms around her hours later, still smell the scent of his cologne, still picture his eyes as he looked into hers when they sat talking over coffee afterwards. When he brought her home, he walked her to her door and waited until he knew she was safe inside. He took her hand into his and kissed it gently and thanked her for the wonderful evening. It took all her will power not to throw herself into his arms and make him kiss her properly and she felt slightly ashamed for her thoughts. She wasn't a fast woman by any means despite having had her fair share of lovers over the past few years. She had been in love, or at least had felt she was in love with each man she had ever slept with though one or two may have been only because she had had a little too much to drink at the time. Nevertheless, she was very selective in whom she allowed to touch her and Roger looked as if he was going to be in that class if she could be sure he felt the same way about her. Giving up on getting any sleep, she got out of bed and went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Hello?" Tara answered the phone on the first ring, hoping it was Roger calling. She was disappointed to hear Mother's voice on the other end.

"Miss King, I was just phoning to see how you were feeling my dear." Tara had to think for a minute before answering. She had almost forgotten about the little white lie she had told Mother the day before. Besides, it was unusual for Mother to call about something so trivial.

"I'm feeling much better thank you."

"Good to hear it."

"Mother, are there any assignments available yet? I mean anything at all?"

"Sorry to say there isn't Miss King. I suppose one could say that is good news considering our line of work though good news doesn't feed the bank account now does it? I promise you the next assignment will be yours."

"Thank you Mother."

"Stay well Miss King."

Tara hung up the phone with a sigh. She didn't know what she was waiting for really. There had been no promises of phone calls or meetings or anything else last night. But wait she did and the waiting wouldn't be so bad if she had something to do. Her flat was immaculately clean, she was showered and dressed. She wasn't hungry and she had read all the books in her case. Twice. She didn't dare leave in case he called. Maybe she should call him? Of course she should. There was no reason in the world why she shouldn't. Or would she look too forward? What if he didn't like that in women? For all their talking the night before, there were still a lot of things she didn't know about him. She put her hand on the receiver and started to pick it up, but suddenly slammed it back down again with a grunt of annoyance. She wouldn't call. She would wait. But why? If she called it would let him know she was still interested in speaking to him again. Or it would make him think she was desperate. She glanced up at the clock. It was only eight thirty in the morning. Way to early for a drink which she was beginning to feel a need for since her nerves were shot. She made a decision. She went into her room and changed her shoes to a more comfortable pair. She would go for a walk and relax.

Two hours later Tara returned. She heard the phone ringing as she tried to hurriedly put the key in the lock. Twice she dropped it before she got it in and was able to open the door. She picked up the phone on the table in mid ring.

"Hello? Hello? Damn!" Tara slammed the phone back down on the hook. She had missed the call. That did it. She was buying an answering machine no matter what the cost. She made her way down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen to make herself some tea. The weather was slightly chilly so the tea sounded especially good right then. She took off her jacket and threw it on the chair as she passed by. She hadn't taken ten steps when the phone rang again. She hurried back to the chair, sat down on it and her jacket and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Miss King? Roger Lars."

Tara had to force herself to sound natural as her heart started beating faster and her breathing started coming in short gasps. Taking a deep breath and letting it out explosively, away from the mouth piece of course, she found her voice.

"Hello Mr. Lars. How lovely to hear from you again." Oh dear god! Could she possibly sound any stiffer or more prim and snobbish? And where in hell did that falsetto voice come from?

"Miss King, I was wondering if you would do me the pleasure of accompanying me for a walk this afternoon and dinner this evening?"

"Go ahead Tara, make a bigger fool of yourself and scream yes!" she thought to herself.

"I would enjoy that very much."

"How about if I pick you up at twelve thirty?"

"Lovely. I'll see you then." Tara hung up the phone and groaned. She was an everyday, twenty two year old woman who had just been asked to go walking and to dinner, yet she had sounded as if she were a matronly fifty year old duchess being asked to come to Buckingham Palace for a formal tea with the Queen. Either Roger Lars was now laughing himself into hysterics at that moment, or wondering if he had made the right decision to see her again. For a moment she almost decided to call him back and cancel in order to avoid any further embarrassment. But she swallowed her pride and sensibly went back into the kitchen and made her tea.

Roger in the meantime was holding his head in his hands. What had he done? After calling her Tara all evening the night before and laughing and joking with her, he had called this morning and spoke to her as if he were conferring a great gift to her by allowing her to be in his company. Miss King indeed. How was he supposed to face her now after acting the fool on the phone? Still, she had said yes. Did she really want to see him again? Or was she just being polite? She was probably sitting there laughing hysterically at his weak attempts to impress her. Either that or she was regretting ever having gone with him in the first place. Maybe he should call her back and call it off. No, that would be rude. He would be sensible and go shower and shave and then wait out the time to pick her up.


	2. Chapter 2

A cool breeze made Tara shiver slightly as she and Roger walked through the park. Roger instinctively put his arm around her shoulders. 

"Cold?"

"A little."

"Here" Roger took off his overcoat and put it around her shoulders.

"Oh no! I'm all right. Really." Tara started to take it off, feeling guilty about him suffering the cold that was starting in as the sun sank lower over the trees in front of them.

"Keep it on. Don't worry about me. I spent four days in Alaska once with only a light coat and suit. The cold doesn't bother me much"

"Oh my! How did that happen?"

"The airline lost my baggage. I had to spend four days stuck in the hotel waiting for it. I could have gone out to buy some things I suppose, but it was too cold to go outside." His eyes twinkled as he looked down into her face. Tara laughed.

"I thought you were serious. I had pictured you stuck in an igloo somewhere freezing half to death."

"Nope. Not an igloo to be seen for miles."Tara laughed again.

Roger liked the sound of it. He liked it very much. He liked everything about her. It wasn't just the fact that she was incredibly beautiful. It was her very nature. Kind, sweet, caring, intelligent, funny. They walked in silence for a bit, Tara enjoying the long walk and the natural beauty surrounding her. She loved trees. Ever since she had moved into the city, she had desperately missed all the trees that had surrounded her family home. When her work became just a little too stressful or depressing she would hurry off to the nearest park and walk or sit amongst the trees just to get away for awhile and relive in her mind a less stressful childhood. Roger saw her face soften as the walked in amongst the trees.

"I always come here when I need to get away from things for awhile. I had a hard time sleeping during my first week here in London. The noise at all hours of the night kept me up. I wasn't sure then that I would survive here, wasn't sure I was cut out to be an agent despite my Uncle's encouragements. One day when things had gone very badly at training, I came home ready to pack it up and go home. I had pulled out my suitcase when I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I came across this park and just sat amongst the trees for awhile. Silly as it sounds it gave me strength to keep trying, to keep working harder." Tara said as she sat down on the grass and leaned back against an old stately oak tree.

"Hadn't you seen it before? I mean it's in between the agency and your flat." Asked Roger as he sat down beside her. He was a bit surprised that she hadn't noticed it right off. She seemed to be extremely observant He had noticed during their time together how quickly her green eyes would dart around, taking in the scenes around her as if she were taking mental notes of how her surroundings looked. Part of it was training he knew Agengts were trained to look at everything surrounding them so they didn't miss the more subtle clues of a crime scene. The other part seemed to be instinctive in her. Whether or not it was survival instinct he didn't know. Tara herself probably didn't know either.

"Yes, but you know how training is. Your mind is so full of everything you've been learning that you see things without taking them in. Steed has taught me since then not to become overwhelmed with everything so that I notice when things look out of place."

"Do you like working with Steed?"

"Oh yes! Very much so. I don't know about when you went through training, but during my time there everything was based on the "Steed method" of doing things. By the time I first met him I had come to believe him to be some sort of god like creature."

"Do you still?"

"No. He's very mortal. Don't get me wrong. He's an extremely good agent. One of the best and the agency was right in all but shoving him down our throats, but it's his human side I admire most."

"Really?" Roger couldn't help but look a little apprehensive Was he crossing lines here with her? Tara looked at him with a gentle, sweet smile. She had heard his tone and meant to change it.

"Really. He's a good, kind, gentle man. He's taught me everything I know about our work. He's taken care of me when I've been ill or injured. He's listened to me when I've been hurting or frightened. He's a good friend. A very good friend. Nothing more, nothing less." Tara looked him straight in the eye as she said this wanting him to see the truth in her eyes. He believed her. He continued to look at her pretty face. He wanted to kiss her, but they had known each other just over a day and it wouldn't be proper. In just the one day and evening he had spent with her, he knew her to be very independent and uncaring about proper behavior. She was impulsive and strong willed, but underlying that was still a strong sense of propriety that wouldn't allow her to take things to another level so quickly. He respected her and cared for her and he would do nothing to shatter what he hoped would become a budding romance.

He smiled back at her and she saw he was relieved that he wasn't invading another man's territory. She knew he admired Steed's reputation in the agency and wouldn't tangle with him. It wasn't the proper thing to do. Not at all. Roger's stomach gave a very unromantic, improper growl just then. Tara laughed as she looked at her watch.

"Oh my! It's nearly five thirty! It's almost dark. I hadn't even noticed. No wonder you are hungry."

"I'm not hungry, but the lion in my stomach is. It's been a wonderful afternoon Tara. I'd like to do it again, but in the meantime may I take you out to dinner?"

"I'd like that."

"Good, then your carriage awaits m'lady. The lion will drive."

By the end of the week, Tara realized she had fallen in love. There was no doubt in her mind she was in love with this wonderful man. With other men whom she had spent a great deal of time with, she would usually back off for a bit in order to give herself some breathing room. She usually liked a little time to herself, but now when Roger wasn't around, she didn't feel the freedom of aloneness, she just felt lonely. He was now starting to appear at her door, flowers in hand, early in the morning. They would have breakfast and coffee together and then spend the rest of the day and evening walking, talking, dining, dancing, going to the theater, or just sitting at her place in front of the fire listening to her albums. Those were the moments she loved best, sitting quietly, her eyes closed as she leaned back against him, his arm around her slender shoulders, a stray finger gently tracing her face and neck. A couple of days ago though, she had gotten a bit peeved with him for the first time. He had confessed to her that he had checked her files at the ministry in order to find out more about her. That she could accept. She had done the same to him. Both of them tried to hide it under the guise of standard practice. They were agents. They needed to know everything about each other and their files held stark naked truths about each agent that they knew they wouldn't get from each other, not because they weren't being honest, but because their judgment was a bit clouded. Finally they both confessed to it being curiosity and laughed about it. But her eyes threw daggers at him when he told her he had also checked out Steed's files.

"Why?" Tara's body stiffened in anger as she pulled out of his arms and sat up straight. Her eyes narrowed and her green eyes darkened a bit. She didn't know it, but she couldn't have looked lovelier at that moment.

"I'm sorry Tara. It wasn't idle curiosity I just wanted to be sure I wasn't stepping over lines here. I care a great deal for you. But I have to admit I have a feeling you haven't told me everything about your relationship with Steed and I don't want to stand in anyone's way. I'd like to keep seeing you again and again, but frankly I don't want it all to end suddenly when Steed returns from holiday."

Tara looked into his eyes and saw the concern there and the truth. One of her best qualities as an agent was being able to tell when someone was lying to her. Roger had only told the truth. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment as her anger abated.

"I know I told you before that I consider John Steed a very close friend. And he is. But yes, a while back we had gone a step further. It was right after I had been so sick. It lasted for a brief period, but both of us came to realize that it really wasn't what either of us wanted or needed. We were both more than satisfied in continuing to develop a stronger friendship. I love Steed. Very much so. And before you ask, yes, we slept together. Often. But both of us know now that it was wrong. Not the sleeping together, but trying to take a perfect relationship and improving on it. It can't be done. And hear me loud and clear on this Roger Lars, I will not allow you nor Steed to influence any decisions I make as to whom I consider a friend or a lover. I want to keep seeing you. I want to keep being with you, but if you think I'm going to stop being friends with John Steed for you, or if you have any doubts that I have told you anything but the absolute truth in my feelings for him, then let's end this here and now before one of us gets hurt."

Roger listened hard as she spoke, his last bit of jealous fear flying out the window. Tara was indeed her own woman and felt very strongly about her relationships. She wasn't to be toyed with and she wasn't one to be told what to do or threatened. He liked that. And he loved her. Without a doubt he was in love. But as he told her, he had no desire to stand in the way of some other man if she had to make a choice. He didn't want to live the rest of his life wondering whether or not she had regretted not choosing the other man. He heard in her voice, saw in her face that she never regretted any choices she made in her life and never would.

"I'm so sorry Tara. I didn't mean to upset you or make you think I was checking up on you. I just wanted to be sure."

"Oh don't be sorry. I sounded harsher then I wanted to and you had every reason to believe there had been something more with me and Steed. I hadn't told you everything, simply because I didn't want you to think bad of me. And here's a life line if you want to grab on to it...Until now, I've never really cared what anyone thought of me. If people liked me then good. If they hated me, so be it. I lived my life for myself, doing what made me happy. But since I met you, I started caring about what you thought. The other day when you rang me and I sounded so horribly stiff and formal, well I couldn't understand why the earth just didn't open up right then and there and swallow me up. I was so embarrassed at how I must have sounded, I came this close to ringing you back and canceling."

"It wouldn't have done you any good to call."

"Why not?"

"Because the minute you said yes, I was in my car rushing over here to see you. I sat outside your door for two hours waiting for noon to arrive."

"Oh you did not." Tara laughed at the image of him sitting in the hall way, checking his watch every few minutes.

"Did so. In fact, when the time was right I was going to ask you if you could put out a pillow for me to sit on the next time."

"What if there hadn't been a next time?" Tara asked coyly.

"Then you would have been subjected to extreme howls coming from your hallway and you wouldn't have been able to listen to your albums unless they were opera." Tara laughed again and then touched his face gently.

"Good thing I said yes then." She lifted her face up to his as he bent down closer to hers. She closed her eyes as he softly kissed her for the first time.

"Yes. It was a very good thing."


	3. Chapter 3

"Tara, let's go for a walk. I want to talk to you." 

"All right." Tara said apprehensively She had never seen Roger look so serious in the three short weeks she had known him. Had it only been three weeks? She felt as if they had always been together and belonged together. Was he worried about Steed coming back tomorrow? He needn't be. While she was anxious to see Steed again, she had come to accept the fact that she was now thoroughly, madly, deeply, and completely in love with Roger Lars and she had had every intention of telling him so later that evening. Should she tell him now to put his mind at ease? She decided to wait to see what he had to say as they walked in silence to the park she loved so much.

"Roger, is everything all right?" she asked quietly as they went through the gate.

"I'm hoping so. Now, not another word until we get there." he said lightly as he put a finger to her lips with a smile. She felt a little relieved. If it were to be bad news he had to give her, he wouldn't be smiling.

As they got closer to the grove of trees they had walked through a couple of weeks ago, she noticed a young boy standing guard over a blanket with a large picnic basket laying open on it. Surrounding the perimeter of the blanket were several bouquets of flowers. Tara laughed in delight as Roger gave the young boy a five pound note and an apple from the basket. The boy scampered away quickly with a salute and a silly grin on his face. Tara laughed again. He was a cute lad.

"Who was that? He's adorable." Tara said as she watched him run off to a woman she assumed was his mother. She felt a strange ache of longing in her heart as she watched the boy hug the woman tightly and then take her hand as they walked away.

"My mother's neighbor's little boy who goes by the incredible name of Augustus Winthrop the Third."

"Oh the poor boy! What a horrid name for such a sweet looking young fellow."

"Don't worry, he makes his mates and his enemies call him Auggie." Roger said. Tara looked at him sharply and laughed.

"What's his real name?" She demanded still laughing.

"Elliot. He's an eight year old chap who lives near me. We're great mates. I've known him and his family since he was three. Before I was sent off to Berlin, he would come over to my place and help me keep the grounds tidy. I always thought that if the day came, I wouldn't mind having a son like him."

"Roger. I just thought of something. I've never seen your home. I want to see it."

"Let's remedy that tonight then. In fact, instead of going out for dinner, why don't I make dinner for us?"

"Sounds wonderful. What will we have?"

"Cheese sandwiches and tinned soup. I can't cook." Tara laughed as she watched him pull out the food from the basket. There was all kinds of wonderful looking food that certainly hadn't come from a cafe.

"Where did all this come from then?"

"Elliot. He's a great cook too. If the romantic dinner I had planned for you doesn't suit, I can always ask him to come over and cook pasghetti."

"Excuse me?"

"Pasghetti. You know, those long strands of pasta with the sauce all over them."

"Oh, is that how Elliot pronounces it?"

"No, that's how I say it."

Tara laughed again, but this time she couldn't stop for quite some time. Roger was in near ecstasy over it. Her laugh was always so pretty, but she rarely laughed out loud, though he had a feeling she had done so more these past three weeks then she ever had. Finally when she was able to breathe again, she wiped the tears of merriment from her eyes and looked at him.

"Do you know how much I love you Roger Lars, for all your silliness and joking?" Tara suddenly blushed as she realized what she had said. She had intended on telling him. She couldn't go on any longer not saying so. But she hadn't meant to throw it out at him like that.

"And do you know how much I love you Tara King? Mad as it may sound, I've been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you. I know it's only been three weeks, but every time I kiss you, every time I hold you in my arms when we are dancing or even when we just talk on the phone, I realize that I you are the only woman I would ever want to do these things with." Roger said quietly as he touched her face gently with his finger. He was all seriousness now. He hadn't meant to say it just yet. He had wanted to wait until after lunch. Unknown to Tara just yet, each of the bouquets of flowers surrounding them had a small message and gift attached to it for her eyes only. He had thought about proposing to her today, but he chose to wait instead in order to find out if she felt the same way. He thought she did, but he wanted to be sure.

Tara's eyes filled with tears of happiness as she listened to him. She shook her head and touched his face.

"It's not madness. And if it is, then we're both mad. I've never felt so completely loved or in love before as I have these past three weeks."she whispered.

"I'm so happy to hear that."

"You don't think we're moving too fast?"

"Do you?"

"No. I can't imagine there's a time line for falling in love. Roger, you have just made me the happiest woman on earth."

"Good. I just hope I can continue making you happy from now on."


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh Roger, it's beautiful." Tara said as she and Roger walked up the gravel path to his small estate. The grounds were magnificent. Trees surrounded the place, and though nothing bloomed this time of the year, she imagined that the whole area was awash in a wild array of colorful flowers during the summer. 

"I like it. I bought this house because of the view from the front windows. When you look out from them and all is quiet, you almost feel as if you were in your own little world. It's quiet and peaceful for the most part though the occasional plane flies overhead. Don't mind the clutter in the house though. I've been extremly occupied these past few weeks and haven't had much time to tidy up."Roger said as he unlocked the front door of the house and they stepped inside. Tara didn't expect too much when they made their way to the front door of the house. While the grounds were beautiful, the outside of the house appeared to be little more than average. As soon as they stepped inside and Roger turned on the lights, Tara fully understood the saying don't judge a book by it's cover.

The living room was large and the floors were covered in thick dark red carpeting that made one feel they were walking on air. The sofa and chairs were covered in rich leather and the walls were paneled in a light colored wood making the room look as if it would go on forever despite the dark draperies, furniture and carpet. It was the magnificent stone fireplace that really caught her fancy though. White large riverstone as the facade with small colorful glass stones peppering it here and there and a white marble mantlepiece made her think of a hunting lodge she had once been to many years ago. She had loved to lay on the bearskin rug in front of it for hours watching the flames of the fire dance merrily while her mother would read to her from one of her favorite books.

"Come love. I'll show you the rest of the house." Roger said as he took her hand.

Almost reluctantly she followed him. She was totally content just sitting in front of the fireplace. However she was glad she went as they walked into the kitchen. She fell in love with it at first sight. Her own kitchen was very small and a bit cramped, but for her needs it served it's purpose. Roger's kitchen was large and spacious and very brightly colored when compared to the living room. While his living room spoke of luxery, his kitchen spoke of great fun. His whole personality was to be seen in here. So was hers for that matter. The walls were a bright yellow, the tablecloth on the breakfast table green and red. Oddly shaped white candlesticks were held in green colored rooster shaped candle holders. His white icebox was covered in pictures and crayoned drawings which she suspected were done by Elliot. She turned to look at Roger, her eyes sparkling and suddenly she laughed as she saw him standing there enveloped in a very large, very frilly apron.

"Do you like it? It's all the rage in Berlin. I thought it made a great fashion statement."

"It makes a statement all right, but it's not saying fashion." Tara said as she shook her head. Roger gathered her in his arms and held her close to him. He kissed her and then traced a finger across her face.

"I'd like to make a statement." He said softly as he looked into her eyes.

"Oh and what would that be?" she whispered as she touched his face with her own hand.

"I'm starving." He said quickly as he kissed briefly and pulled away from her. He hurried over to the icebox and started pulling out food for dinner. Tara laughed at him again.

"What are we having?"

"Hmmm...so far it looks like we are having bacon, eggs, jelly, roast duck, wilted celery, and something that looks like it was either an onion or my iron tablets. I can't be sure. Oh look, we can have desert. How long can you keep melted ice cream in the refrigerator before it goes bad?"

"You are incorrigible."

"Does that mean adorabale in French?"

"You don't want to know what it means."

"Yes I do. How else am I supposed to learn if I don't ask questions? Now since you won't tell me, I'll just have to dig up my old school dictionary and look it up myself. Now how do you spell that word you said...what was it?...incurable..is that spelt with two zs or three?" Asked Roger as he pulled a cook book off the table and started thumbing through it. Tara laughed again as she pulled the book from his hands and placed it back on the table. She put her arms around his neck and looked up at him.

"It means...she kissed him...let's have some exercise...another kiss...before dinner..A much longer third kiss with a lot of meaning behind it that didn't require a dictionary, followed.

"Should I get my roller skates then?" He asked as he moved his mouth away from her lips and started kissing her neck.

"Later...much much later."


	5. Chapter 5

"Steed! You're back. How was your holiday?" Tara asked as Steed came into her flat with a large bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne. 

"Absolutely wonderful. I could use another two weeks if Mother would let me." he said as he met her at the bottom of the stair case. He handed her the flowers and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you. They're lovely. He might. We've had absolutely no assignments since you've been gone."

"Good. That should have given you plenty of time to recuperate then." he said as he went directly to her cabinet, pulled out two glasses and popped the cork on the champagne bottle.

"More then enough time. Steed, I want to talk to you." Tara said nervously, her face flushing slightly.

"I thought that's what we were doing." Steed smiled at her as he handed her a glass. His smile dropped when he saw her face. She looked upset about something.

"What's wrong? Tara? Out with it. We have no secrets from each other. Remember?" Steed lifted her chin so that he could look into her beautiful eyes. Oh how he had missed her while he was away.

Tara took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she turned away from him and went to the sofa and sat down. She stared into her glass for a moment trying to figure out how to tell him without sounding foolish. Steed sat next to her and watched her as she contemplated the best way to tell him whatever it was she had to say.

"Tara. What's wrong? Are you sick? Are you leaving the agency?" he asked apprehensively She didn't look sick and from the looks of it, her sprained wrist that he had referred to earlier looked perfectly fine. Was she leaving the agency then? That was the only thing Steed could think of that would make her look so uncomfortable.

"No, no. Nothing like that. It's just..well..do you know Roger Lars?"

"Roger Lars...Roger Lars...Yes! Or at least I know of him. He's one of our agents stationed in Berlin isn't he? Why?"

"He's not stationed there any longer. He's back in London. He came home because his mother was ill. She's fine now, but he's asked to be reassigned here. I met him while you were away."

"And?"

"I think I'm in love with him. No, not think...I am in love with him." Tara said quietly, keeping her eyes down.

"So soon? Tara, I've only been away for three weeks. Are you sure?" he asked in surprise. Steed couldn't even think about teasing her as he would have usually done. The look on her face was much too serious. Tara nodded her head as the tears started to fall from her eyes.

"Yes. I'm sure. We've spent every day and every evening together for the past three weeks and I've enjoyed every minute of being with him. When we aren't together I can't think of anything or anyone else but him."

"Have you talked to him about this?"

"Yes. Just yesterday in fact."

"And?"

"And he feels the same way I do. John, it's not that I'm unsure. It's just that I'm worried about what this will do to you and me. I know we both agreed that our being together wasn't working out, but until I met Roger, I was thinking about talking to you about giving our relationship another chance. Not that I feel any differently, but I thought that maybe if we worked harder at it, we might make something of it. And I have had the feeling for the past several weeks that maybe you too were thinking we should try again. But John, even if I had never met Roger, I still think we would be making a big mistake if we went further then we are now. It would hurt me terribly if I was to lose your friendship. I can't...I just can't take that risk. Please tell me you understand and that this won't damage our friendship." Tara's face was pale and she did look afraid, but she wouldn't lie to him or hide anything from him, so he knew this was causing her a great deal of pain and fear to confess all this to him. He picked up her hand and held it in his.

"Of course I understand. Listen, we both decided that we weren't quite right for each other romantically, but had a special friendship that was too precious to lose. So unless you do something horrible like wrecking my Bentley or using my hundred year old Scotch to take stains out of the carpeting, you can't possibly do or say anything that will ruin our relationship. Come here. Don't cry any more. It's all right. I still want to meet this Roger of yours though. I want to make sure he's right for you. If not, I hear Teddy Chilcott is still available." he teased.

Tara laughed through her tears.

"I imagine he's going to remain available for a long time if he doesn't stop acting as if he's god's gift to women."

"Well, he is very dashing when he's all dressed up."

Tara laughed again. "I suppose he is, but he's not Roger, who, by the way should be coming over shortly for dinner. And here I am looking a right mess I'm sure." she said as she took the handkerchief Steed handed her and wiped her eyes.

"Tara, I don't think you've ever looked a mess in your life." Steed said as he kissed her cheek softly.

"No? Remind me to show you a picture my mother took of me when I turned one."

"Oh dear, a tell all picture to show to your grandchildren when they are old enough to handle it?"

"That was my intention, though my father said he was saving it to show all my beaus when I started dating. Fortunately I found the picture and the negatives and hid them so he never had the chance."

Steed put his glass down on the table and stood up, pulling her up with him. He kissed her cheek one more time and gave her a brief hug.

"Well if your young man is coming over soon, I'd best make my way back to my humble abode. I'll call you in the morning, and if you aren't busy we can spend the day together so I can show you some of the snaps I took in Nice." Tara pushed him back down to the sofa.

"No. You're staying for dinner too. I've made more then enough. Besides, I want you to meet him. I think you'll like him very much."

"Perhaps. What if he doesn't like the idea though?"

"Steed, have you ever known me to care what someone else thinks? I may be in love with the man, but no man will ever rule me." Tara said staunchly though a smile played at her lips.

"No doubt, but I was thinking about what he might do to me."

"Don't worry. I'll protect you."

During the evening, Steed watched the interaction between the two of them with mixed feelings. Tara did look very happy and Lars was definitely in love with her. He treated her with extreme gentleness and was the consummate gentleman through the whole evening. Tara had been right. Steed did like him very much. He had a wonderful sense of humor and the three of them spent the evening joking, laughing, and talking. He still worried though. Tara tended to be impulsive and he was concerned that since he and she were no longer lovers, she may have taken the first man who came along to make up for the fact that she was alone again. When that thought popped into his head, he felt a bit vain. Tara could have had her pick of any man she wanted. Beautiful, sweet, caring, intelligent. Those words only began to describe her. Every man who saw her looked twice. But she herself was very selective in who she allowed to come near her. Lars didn't know just how lucky he was to attract her attention.

Steed felt just the slightest twinge of jealousy. Steed had rarely given thought to a long term relationship with a woman. His job required long hours and many times long weeks or months away from home. Most of the women he knew would never have been able to tolerate it, or would be willing to put up with his extreme mood changes. Tara did understand though. She went through the same thing herself since she was an agent. They could read each other like books, knowing when one wanted to talk, when one wanted to be alone, when one needed comfort and understanding. But it wasn't Lars that he was jealous of. Steed had agreed with Tara that anything beyond friendship for the two of them could blow up in their faces. No, he was just slightly jealous of how happy the two of them looked together. While he was exceedingly happy that Tara was happy, he was having one of those rare feelings of hoping to find the same kind of happiness for himself one day. In the meantime, he would just be happy if Lars treated her well and didn't take her away from him too soon.

"So, you're coming to stay in London. You'll find it a bit tedious after Berlin." Steed said as he and Lars sat together with glasses of brandy while Tara went into the kitchen to make coffee.

"I'm sure, but London does have some wonderful distractions. I felt it best to come back, to be a bit closer to home. My mother took ill a few weeks ago and though she's doing better now, well, she's getting on in years and I thought maybe I should be closer to home in case anything happens."

"And the lovely sights of the city are appreciable too."

Lars laughed. "That they are. In particular one which I can't get enough of. I love her Steed. You don't have to worry. I will never do anything to hurt her in any way." Roger had watched Steed's face throughout the evening and he'd been able to guess what the man had been thinking.

"Oh I'm not worried. The agency has several fellows who would tear you apart if you did. She loves you too. I can tell. I admit I've never seen her so happy."

"I hope she is. I know it's been a bit of a whirlwind, but I plan on asking her to marry me in a couple of weeks."

"And if she says no?"

"I don't know. I'm hoping she'll say yes. Do you have any reason to think she might not?"

"No, but it is rather soon to be thinking of marriage isn't it? According to her you've only known each other three weeks."

"Yes, but it's been an incredible three weeks. Steed, she's everything I've ever wanted in a woman. Sweet, gentle, kind, independent, self assured."

"And beautiful."

"That too, though that's more just icing on the cake so to speak. Don't tell her I've said anything about proposing. I want to do this just right. Besides, it gives her two weeks more to be absolutely sure."

"And you?"

"I was sure the day I met her."

"If you ever hurt her, ever break her heart, I will personally kill you." Steed warned.

"It will never happen. Besides, I have a feeling that if I was such a cad, you'd have to stand in line behind her."

"Most likely."


	6. Chapter 6

"Tara darling. You already know how much I love you. You already know that I can't live my life without you. What I want to know now is will you marry me?" Roger took her left hand into his and slipped a gold and diamond engagement ring on to her ring finger. Tara couldn't speak. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. They had been sitting in his living room before a roaring fire having a cup of tea before retiring for the night. He had planned on actually asking her in a more romantic setting when he took her out to dinner the next night, but all at once he decided he could wait no longer. He wanted to know now. 

"So does this flood mean yes?" Roger asked as Tara continued to cling to him and cry. She laughed through her tears and pulled away just enough to look at him.

"Oh yes. Oh very much so yes." She kissed him and then looked up at him, her eyes sparkling as brightly as the diamonds in her ring. She didn't have to think about it. She loved him and wanted him to be with her the rest of her life. For the first time ever, Tara knew without a doubt this was the man she had been waiting and searching for. As he kissed her again, she considered herself the luckiest woman in the world to have Roger Lars love her so much.

"Make love to me." She whispered in his ear. She started to kiss his neck as her hands moved down to his tie and started to unknot it, but he pulled back from her, a look of shock on his face.

"Why Miss King! Just because I proposed to you doesn't mean you can take advantage of me! I have my reputation to think of. No,no..I want to save myself for our wedding night."

"That didn't seem to be a problem last night, or the night before, or the night before that even." Tara said as she removed his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"That's only because I wanted you to see just how good I was before I proposed. That way you would have no choice but to say yes."

Tara stopped her task and pulled away from him, placing a pillow between them as a sort of barricade. Then she started to unbutton her own blouse, revealing to him her soft white skin, and her beautiful figure from the waist up.

"You are right. We should wait. We want to be able to tell our children how virtuous we were. So, when should we get married? I think a year from now would be appropriate." She said as she stood up and took off her skirt and pantyhose, leaving her in nothing but her silk bra and underwear. She gave him a coy look and started to walk away from him. She didn't get very far when he suddenly stood up, grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him.

"Why Mr. Lars! Unhand me. I have my reputation to think of." Tara mimicked him with a laugh. He picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the sofa and dropped her there unceremoniously. She gave a small scream and laughed again when she tried to get away and he pushed her back down.

"To hell with reputations and virtues!" He growled as he finished taking off his shirt. Tara giggled again as he knelt down beside her and started to kiss her very thoroughly. Tara sighed with satisfaction and anticipation. As he started moving to her neck, Tara tapped him on the shoulder.

"Come in." Roger said as he looked at her. Tara laughed.

"I think we should get a few things straight before we go any further sir."

"Yes Miss?"

"First off, who gets the left side of the bed?"

"You do."

"Good answer. Now, who gets to use the shower first in the morning?"

"You do."

"Good. That's two for two. If you get this third one right, I'll let you marry me."

"Oh thank you Miss. Can I guess what you were going to ask?"

"Go ahead."

"You were going to ask who gets to wear the wedding dress. And the answer is I do."

"Don't be so silly. The question is, who rules the house?"

"Well, that has three answers to it. As long as you are living in your own flat, I do. When you and I move in here together, you do. And when we have children, they do. At that time we'll move out and leave them the house."

"Well, you almost had the first answer correct so I'll give you half a point for that one. Now answer the bonus question and I'll let you make love to me all night long."

"And if I get it wrong?"

"You'd better not."

"All right, keeping my fingers crossed here. What is it?"

"Does that skirt I wore make me look fat?"

"Nothing could ever make you look fat."

"Good boy. You may proceed."

"Oh thank you Miss!" Roger said as he started kissing her again. He had just started to remove her bra when a shrill scream came up from the door. Tara and Roger both jumped at the horrific sound, looked over the edge of the sofa and saw Roger's mother standing there covering her eyes at the sight of her son, shirt off, kissing a half naked woman in his living room.

"Tara darling, don't worry about my mother. She'll come around and if she doesn't, so be it." Roger said as he held Tara close to him the next night. They had just come back from Roger's parents house to explain everything that had happened the night before.

After Mrs. Lars had found them on the sofa, she had picked up her bags in anger and left without a word to either one of them. Roger had gone after her and caught up with her before she could reach her car. Tara started to quickly get dressed, intending to go out and apologize to the angry woman, but before she could get her shoes on, Roger came back in looking angry.

"Oh Roger. What's wrong? Isn't she coming back?" Tara asked worriedly.

"Not tonight. We'll go over there tomorrow night and talk to her. She's too angry and upset to be reasonable tonight."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty head about my love." Roger said as he sat down on the sofa. He leaned forward resting his arms on his knees and stared down at the carpet. Tara sat next to him and started to gently rub his back.

"Roger, what's wrong?" Tara asked softly, her heart beating hard in her chest. She had never seen him look so angry and hurt before.

"Don't worry sweetheart. Everything will be all right. I've just never seen her act so unreasonably before." Roger said as he straightened up and sat back, pulling Tara with him. She lay her head on his shoulder as he put his arms around her and held her tight against him.

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Perhaps I should call her myself. Maybe she'll listen to me." Tara said.

"Now Tara, don't go blaming yourself for my mother's childish behavior. You did nothing wrong...we did nothing wrong. If anyone is to blame really, it's me. I had forgotten that she likes to stop over unannounced once in awhile and that I had given her a key to the house. We'll go see her tomorrow when she's had a chance to calm down a bit. This way you can meet my father and we can make our announcement then."

"Are you sure Roger? Because I don't really mind calling her myself."

"I'm sure love. Come on, let's go to bed. I'll take you home in the morning if you wish."

The next evening Tara was eternally grateful that Roger had requested her not to call his mother. It would have taken everything she had not to bite the woman's head off. Mrs. Lars had not calmed down. On the contrary she had only had the chance to build up a full head of steam as she lashed out at Tara.

"So, are you pregnant? Is that how you got my son to propose to you? I would make sure you are the father before you go marrying this harlot Roger." Mrs. Lars said veheminately.

"She's not pregnant Mum. I asked her to marry me because I love her. Stop blaming Tara for this. She nor I have done anything wrong. We are two adults who love each other and plan on getting married."

"You haven't even known each other two months. Give it a year at least Roger. See how many men she sleeps with in the meantime. If she slept with you, she's slept with others. Girls today don't even bother saving themselves for their wedding night any more. Drop her is my advice to you. Drop her before she drops you for a richer man."

"Mrs. Lars, won't you please listen to me. I love Roger very, very much. I know it sounds like we haven't had enough time to get to know each other, but I've loved Roger from the moment I met him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"You want his money."

"Never. He could be dirt poor and I'd still love him. Besides, I'm financially secure. Whatever money he has never even entered my mind when he asked me to marry him." Tara said a bit archly. She was trying very hard to keep her temper, but this woman was being truly unreasonable. Tara looked over at Roger's father sitting in an armchair listening quietly to the conversation going on around him.

"Please Mr. Lars, believe me. I love your son for who he is, not what he's worth in money."

"Of course I believe you my dear. Mary, please sit down and listen to what the children are saying. And you know as well as I do they were doing nothing wrong."

"Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong? James, how could you say that? She was tempting him to commit adultery. If she were a decent woman she wouldn't have even been at his house. It's against the bible James. You know it is."

"Be that as it may, they are adults and can make their own decisions Mary."

"Mum, listen to me and listen good. I'm only going to say this once and you can take it any way you like. I love Tara. I'm going to marry her. We are going to live together and have children together. Tara is a sweet, beautiful, wonderful, decent, woman and I couldn't be happier knowing that she wants to marry me. Now you can either accept my decision and treat her with kindness or you can be prepared not to see us again."

"Now Roger darling, I'm only trying to protect you. You've worked so hard for all you have and I don't want to see you throw it all away on someone who looks as if she'll take advantage of your sweet nature and generosity."

"I don't need protecting Mum. I know what I want. Tara sweet, don't cry love. It breaks my heart to see you cry." Roger had seen Tara's lips start to tremble as he and his mother argued. He wasn't going to stand for this any longer. He took her into his arms and held her.

"There there love. Don't cry...shh..it's all right. I'm sorry sweetheart." Roger stayed focused on Tara while he tried to calm her down. He didn't notice his father standing up and motion to his wife to follow him into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry love. So very sorry. If I had know it was going to be like this I would never have brought you here to see all this. Let's go home love."

"No Roger. I'm sorry for breaking down. I want to stay and make her understand I love you, not whatever money you may have."

"Tara I don't want you torturing yourself over this. It's not worth it. I love my parents very much, but you are the woman I'll be spending the rest of my life with. I only want to see you happy and if she thinks there is any chance that I'm going to give you up for any reason, she had best think again."

"But I don't want you to argue with her because of me. I don't want to be the cause of you fighting with your parents Roger."

"Don't worry sweetheart, I find you are very much worth fighting for. Nothing she says or does can sway me into leaving you. She'll come around love. I know my mum. She maybe acting childish right now, but she'll stop soon enough. In the meantime you and I will just be happy together. All right?" Roger asked as he lifted Tara's tear stained face up with his thumb and gently wiped away her tears. Tara wasn't sure about all this, but she nodded in agreement and kissed him gently.

"I love you so much Roger. I hate seeing you so unhappy."

"Darling, I'm not unhappy. Angry at my mother's behavior yes, but not unhappy. How could I be knowing how much I love you and you love me?" Before Tara could respond, Roger's parents came back out to the living room, bringing four cups of steaming hot tea and sandwiches. Mary Lars still looked angry, but she at least spoke civilly to the two of them as James motioned for the couple to sit down.

"Well, since you two have decided to get married regardless of what I think, have you set a date yet?" Mary asked as she passed around the cups.

"Uhm no, not yet." Tara said quietly with a small quiver of nervousness in her voice.

"What church do you plan on getting married in?"

"We haven't decided on that yet either. We still have a lot of plans to make. And a lot of those plans will have to be done around work."

"And do your parents approve of this?"

"We haven't had time to call my father and tell him yet, but I'm sure he won't be unhappy. He trusts me." Tara said with a slight bitterness in her voice. Mary's grilling was getting on her nerves.

"And what about your mother? Do you think she approves of the type of life you lead?"

"Enough mum. Tara's mother died several years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that my dear. Maybe if she had lived she would have taught you to live a more appropriate life style."

"That's it. Come Tara. Let's go home. Mum, I'm sorry you don't approve of this, but that is no reason to be cruel. I won't tolerate this any more." Roger said as he gently pulled Tara to her feet and helped her put on her coat. He was extremely angry, but he forced himself to be gentle around her so that she wouldn't feel the tension building up in his hands. She had been subjected to enough this evening and he was sorry he had put her through it. Tara herself had had enough, though instead of anger now, she was terribly hurt. The slap at her mother bothered her more than the horrible words that had been thrown at her all evening. She didn't question or protest Roger's actions. She needed to leave before she said something she would regret.

On the way home, Tara and Roger sat in silence each lost in their own thoughts. Roger felt horrible at what had happened over the past two days. His extreme happiness was marred now due to his mother's attitude and he was angry about it. He became even angrier when he glanced over and saw Tara looking so sad and worried. He picked up her hand and kissed it.

"Don't worry love. I get my temper from my dad." Roger joked lightly hoping to get her to smile. But she only stared out the window and nodded. At that moment she didn't dare turn and look at him. She was deeply hurt and upset and she was afraid she'd start to cry again. She didn't want to make a bad situation even worse. She squeezed his hand gently though to let him know she wasn't angry with him and he seemed to understand as he put her hand gently down into her lap and then touched her face softly. He didn't say another word until they reached his place. He stopped the car, cut the engine and got out. He went over and helped her out of the car and immediately took her in his arms and held her.

"It will be all right Tara. Trust me."

"Oh I hope so for your sake Roger. If she wants to hate me for whatever reason, she can. I won't care. But I just can't live with the fact that she's taking all this out on you."

"Darling listen to me. I love you. I have every intention of marrying you if you still want me after all this. You make me happier than anyone else in the world. I have no intention of losing you because of my mum's attitude about this. She's either going to learn to love you or she's going to learn that I will not allow her to rule my life in such a personal matter. Now come into the house sweetheart. It's too cold for you to be standing out here. I'll go make us some coffee and then let's call your father and tell him our plans."

"I love you so much. So very, very much." Tara said quietly as she kissed him.

"Of course you do darling. I'm irresistible."

"So when should we get married?" Roger asked as he sat at the table while Tara made breakfast.

"How about after the first of the year? It's November now. If we wait until January that will give us time to plan a nice wedding, get out invitations, etc. Roger, I don't want a big wedding. I want something small and simple with just our closest friends and family with us, and a small reception afterwards. Is that all right with you?"

"Anything you want love. I'm not too keen myself on a fancy wedding. Makes one too tired to enjoy the wedding night."

"And what did you have planned for our wedding night that we haven't done already?"

"I was thinking a good vigorous game of croquet."

"It's winter time love. Too cold for croquet."

"I know how we can heat things up then."

"I bet you do."

"Of course I do. We'll go swimming in the Thames first. It will make us appreciate the warmth of the outdoor air afterwards."

"Here, eat your breakfast."


	7. Chapter 7

"Hello mum?...Yes, we've set a date, however we aren't going to have a church wedding...No, now listen. We had planned on a church wedding, but Tara's father is ill and can't make it and we just couldn't have the wedding without him, so instead we'll be having a small civil ceremony and a reception afterwards. We want you and dad to come to be witnesses...Why not? Now mum, stop being unreasonable. Tara wanted her father to give her away and since he can't and he insists on Tara and I going on with our plans we decided this was the better course of action...Fine. We can always find someone else to stand in...That is your prerogative mum. I'm not going to beg or argue about this. I'm sorry you can't see the logic behind all this, but I'm not going to waste my time explaining it to you either. And for what it's worth, I love you. Say hello to dad for me." 

Roger hung up the phone seething with anger and disappointment. It was a week until Christmas and three weeks until he and Tara were to be married and here his mother was being unreasonable again. Well, if that was the way she wanted it, then he would play it her way. He and Tara would go over there for Christmas as planned, and then leave as soon as it was decently possible. They would be married in January, go to France for their honeymoon and see her father, then come back home and settle in. If his mother wanted to share in their happiness he would be more then happy to welcome her in to it, but if not, he wasn't going to let her hurt Tara any longer. Roger stood up and paced the floor, his fists clenched in anger. Suddenly he relaxed when he heard Tara's car pull up. He went to the door and looked out as she got out of her car. She looked awfully tired and pale so early in the. She moved slowly and her smile was a bit wan as she approached him.

"Tara darling? Are you all right?" Roger asked as he went out to meet her.

"I'm all right. Just tired and sore. Steed and I were working on a case all night long. Fortunately we caught the men behind it fairly quickly thanks to Steed. He's gone over to Mother's to report everything then he's coming by here for coffee. You don't mind do you?"

"Of course not. You aren't hurt are you?"

"No, just a bit stiff. We had a bit of a fight on our hands, but fortunately no one was seriously hurt and I'm just sore. We've been off assignment for so long that I'm a bit out of shape."

"Darling, you've never been out of shape. Now, come in and I'll draw you a nice hot bath and make you some breakfast and coffee."

"Sounds wonderful. Just remember to come in and make sure I'm still awake. I'd really hate to drown before I've had a good night's sleep."

"Tara? Come on love. You're falling asleep. Let's get you out of here and have some breakfast. Then you can sleep the rest of the day away."

"Oh..I'm so tired."

"I know sweetheart. Come on, I'll help you get dressed." Roger pulled the plug on the tub and as the water started to drain out, he helped Tara out of it. He gasped a bit as he saw several dark bruises on her legs and arms and one particularly nasty bruise forming on her ribs.

"Tara! I thought you said you weren't hurt. What's all this then?" He asked as he wrapped an over sized towel around her and led her into the bedroom.

"They're just a few bruises love. I really am all right. Nothing is broken. Besides, you should see the other guy." Tara tried to assure him. She winced a little as he gently dried her back.

"Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?"

"No love. I'm fine. Really. Roger you know how our job is. You can't walk away from an assignment without a few bumps and bruises." Tara said as she took the towel from his hands and had him help her get dressed. She just couldn't reach around to fasten or zip her skirt. As Roger started to button up her blouse he chuckled a bit.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking how much easier it is to undress you then it is to dress you."

"Roger Lars! You're lucky I'm too sore to move or I'd hit you right now." Tara said with a glare though her lips curled slightly at the edges.

"I know you're sore. That's why I said what I did. I knew I'd get away with it. Shoes on or off?"

"Off. You will pay for that remark later you know."

"What if I apologize very sweetly? Will you forgive me?" he asked as he kissed her softly.

"How do you intend on apologizing for such an insinuating statement?"

"Like this." He kissed her again with just a bit more passion to it.

"Oh..I like how you apologize."

"Do you, Roger Steven Lars, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Tara King, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

At the reception, Mary Lars sat with her husband on one side of her and Steed on the other. Both men were smiling as they watched Tara and Roger dance slowly in circles around the dance floor. Mary watched too, but she wasn't smiling.

"Doesn't Tara look beautiful?" Steed asked Mary. Mary stared at the girl. She had to admit that Tara was beautiful, her dark hair piled high on her head, green eyes sparkling with love and laughter. Her choice of dress, while untraditional, was beautiful, an egg-shell colored chiffon that molded to her slim figure like a glove to a hand without being too revealing. At least the girl had the decency to dress appropriately.

"She looks well enough. Tell me Mr. Steed, do you think she really loves him, or do you think she's after something else?"

"Hmm..I never really thought about it. Let me think...it couldn't be for his money, Tara has more than enough of her own and is very independent and self-reliant. It isn't for his home since she could buy Buckingham Palace if she desired. It wouldn't be just for his good looks because she's not a shallow woman. So to answer your question after giving it much thought and knowing her as well as I do, I'd have to say it's only because she loves him and nothing else. Now if you'll excuse me, I wish to dance with my girl one more time before the night is over." Steed said as he got up with a smile and moved off. Mary stared after him with a thoughtful look on her face. She mechanically got up and followed her husband to the dance floor and didn't realize it for several moments as she was so lost in thought.

"May I?" Steed said as he tapped on Roger's shoulder.

"Yes, but I want her returned in her original condition Steed. I've taken snaps so I'll know if anything is missing." Roger teased as he handed his bride over to him.

"So what brings a beautiful girl like you to a place like this?" Steed smiled as he took Tara in his arms and danced her across the floor.

"Oh you know how it is sir. A girl gets bored with her own company once in a while so she comes out to seek her true love."

"And did you find it?"

"Oh yes. Very much so."

"Tara I'm incredibly happy for you. I like Lars a great deal, he's a good man, and it's very obvious he loves you."

"He is and does and I love him. John, you will stop by like always won't you? I mean I know we'll still be working together but I still want to see you outside of "office hours.".

"Of course love. Though I think I'll ring first before I come over." Steed chuckled as he kissed her forehead.

"That would be a wise decision. You never know if we'll be busy repainting the living room or something."

"Of course. I wouldn't want to interrupt a good painting session. Tara, are you truly happy?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then I can sleep nights knowing that. I'm going to miss you and our times together, but I know that you are happy and content and that's all I've ever wished for you."

"What about you? Are you happy?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"No you aren't. You want to settle down yourself with half a dozen little John Steed's running around, a beautiful woman bringing you your brandy and slippers, a couple of horses in the field, a dog and cat sleeping in front of the fireplace. It's time you started thinking about settling down John."

"Maybe one day, but I don't' think it will ever happen."

"Why not?"

"Because you've already stolen Roger away. There's no one left for the rest of us now."

"Oh Steed! I certainly didn't need that image in my mind right now." Tara laughed as she lay her head on his shoulder. He tightened his hold on her slightly.

"I guess I could ring Teddy Chilcott and see if he's available."

"Steed stop that. You will find a woman who loves you as much as I love Roger one of these days. You will fall madly in love with her and won't be able to think of anyone else except her. You just have to stop hiding behind the protective front you've been carrying for so long. And when you do, I want to be there to wish you all the happiness in the world. Don't disappoint me John." Steed looked down into her eyes and saw warmth, love, and concern there. He bent down and kissed her cheek.

"I'll do my very best love."

"You certainly can't approve of this James." Mary said as she watched Steed and Tara over her husband's shoulder.

"Now dear, we've been all over this before. She's a sweet girl, Roger loves her and she loves him. What is it about the girl you dislike so much?"

"You know what I saw James."

"Yes, you saw two adults in the privacy of their home, doing what adults do."

"It isn't _their _home, or at least it wasn't then, it was Roger's and they weren't married at the time. Girls in our day didn't do such things before they were married."

"The girl isn't all to blame, not that there is anything to blame either one of them for. Roger was involved as much as she."

"She seduced him. Roger would never have done anything like that. We raised him to wait until he was married."

"He's his own man and makes his own decisions. We raised him to be that too. They did nothing that is unforgivable, in either our eyes or God's."

"Then why didn't they get married in a church? She was probably worried about the fact that it would never be sanctioned as holy matrimony."

"You aren't ever going to forgive them are you? They explained their reasons why they chose this type of wedding and I for one believe them."

"It was wrong of her James. You know it."

"I don't know it love. I know that they love each other and I'm more than happy for our son in finding such a sweet woman who loves him. Anything else is insignificant and none of our business. I think once you get to know her, you'll like her despite your prejudices against her. And Mary, I do believe Roger will stay away if you insist on persuing with this nonsensical hatred of the girl. I wish to see our son once in awhile and I'm sure you do to."

Before Mary could respond, Roger tapped his father on his shoulder.

"Since Mr. Steed has stolen my wife for the moment, would it be all right if I steal yours?" Roger asked.

"Of course son as I am off to steal yours away from Mr. Steed." James said as he clapped his son on his shoulder and then went off to dance with his daughter-in-law.

"Mum, thanks for coming today. It wouldn't have been the same without you and dad here." Roger said as they started to dance.

"I just hope you don't ever end up regretting this dear. I still think you could have done better. Why you didn't choose Madeline Barrows is beyond me. She's beautiful, accomplished, sweet, kind, and lady like."

"Everything Tara is, but she lacks the one thing Tara has and that's the joy of living. Maddie is everything you said, I agree, but she had no sense of adventure or fun in her. And I didn't love her."

"Love is fine in the end Roger dear, but it's not everything."

"No Mum, it's the only thing."


	8. Chapter 8

"Steed, I'm leaving the agency." 

"Oh no! Why?"

"Roger and I want to start having children and we have so little time together right now with both of us working."

"Have you told Roger this?"

"Of course. I think he was a little relieved actually. I've tried to talk him into leaving a couple of times, but he loves this job so much I didn't have the heart to push it, dangerous as it is. Besides, it's only logical for me to be the one to leave. I can't very well work when I'm pregnant. If I get pregnant that is." Tara spoke the last words quietly, a troubled look crossing her face. She and Roger had been trying to have children for the past six months. Tara actually had gotten pregnant once, but before they could make any type of announcement, she miscarried. Steed offered them comfort, especially Tara who was greatly upset by it. After she calmed down, they tried again, but so far nothing. Month after month Tara became more and more distressed each time her period started right on time. Last month, when the familiar tell tale signs started in again, she broke down. Roger found her in the bathroom crying her eyes out.

"Tara darling what's wrong? Oh don't cry sweetheart. I can't bear to see you cry. What's wrong love?"

"Roger, I want us to have a baby so desperately. Why can't we? What's wrong with me?"

"Shh darling..northing's wrong with you. You've been under a great deal of stress lately that's all. My God Tara, you've had a rough year and a half with your father dying and my mother being a pain in the ass, then the miscarriage and work. Don't worry love, we'll have a baby when the time is right. Dry your tears and listen to me. If it turns out that for some reason or another we can't have a baby ourselves, we can always adopt if you want. There are thousands of children who need a good home and loving parents. In fact, I've always wanted to talk to you about adopting a child later regardless of how many children of our own we have."

"Really Roger? You won't love me less or hate me if I can't have children?"

"Would you hate me if I can't father them?"

"No! No! Of course not. You're my whole world. I can't live without you."

"Ditto Mrs. Lars. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than I love Steed even." Tara laughed through her tears. Roger could always make her laugh. She put her arms around his neck and held him close to her.

"I love you so very much. As you say, maybe it's just stress and timing. I think it's time I left the agency. That will alleviate some of the stress any way."

"Are you sure love? I want you to be happy and content. I know how much you love being an agent and being partnered up with the most brilliant agent in London, present company excepted of course. You two are becoming legendary you know."

"Maybe Mother will partner you up with Steed. Oh Roger, I'm so scared."

"Listen to me darling. If you don't conceive next month, go to a doctor and see what he or she has to say. Whatever it is, we'll work through it. But don't dwell on this Tara. I really think it's just because of stress and worry."

Tara paced the floor in the living room waiting for Roger to come home. It was ridiculous to sit around and wait. Roger didn't exactly work banker's hours and may not be home for hours or days even. So she paced. She jumped when she heard the front door open and him calling her name. So absorbed in thought she hadn't even heard his car come up the drive. Tara's eyes filled with tears when he came into the living room.

"Tara? Oh there you are. Darling, what's wrong?" Roger looked at her face, his heart freezing when he saw her tears.

"I'm pregnant."

"Darling, that's wonderful news. How far along are you?" Roger asked excitedly, his heart overflowing with joy. Three months ago she had gone to the doctor to find out why she wasn't getting pregnant. He had had no explanation to give. He had simply told her to relax and let nature take it's course. Tara had told Roger that morning she had another appointment to see the doctor again, but she had made it sound like it was for a check up and nothing more. He didn't know she suspected she might be pregnant. Tara wasn't sure herself. She had no morning sickness and hadn't missed her periods, but her last two periods had been extremly light and lasted only two days instead of the usual five or six. She decided not to tell Roger her suspicions in case it was to be another dissapointment. As supportive as he had been, she knew he was as anxious as she was to have children and she couldn't bear the thought of him being dissapointed once again.

"Seven weeks. If everything goes well, the baby is due April 27th." She said quietly as her tears continued to fall. Roger looked at her closely and took her hand into his as he led her to the sofa and sat down with her. Her hand was ice cold and shaking.

"What's wrong Tara? You don't seem very happy love. Is everything all right?"

"Oh I am happy. I'm just scared. I don't want anything to go wrong this time."

"Is there any reason to believe that it might?"

"I don't know. He said to be careful, rest, eat more, no lifting or carrying anything. What worries me is that I've been reading all these books and pamphlets he gave me. According to them, during the first few months I should be seeing him every five or six weeks. He wants me to see him every week. Why? I didn't think about it at the time so I didn't question it. But what if something is wrong? Most of the women I've known who had been pregnant did all the things he told me not to do and didn't have any trouble."

"Mm. I'll tell you what. Next week, when you go back, I'll go with you. We'll ask all these questions that are bothering you and find out what's going on. In the meantime, do as he says. I'll hire a housekeeper so you won't have to do anything except relax."

"I don't like that idea all together. I hate having strangers in the house going through our things. I'll be bored to death without having anything to do."

"I know love, but in the end it will be worth it and you'll forget all about the inconvenience when our little bundle of joy is laid in your arms for the first time. Now, who should we call first to tell the good news to?"

"Oh Roger, let's wait until we have some answers first. I'm scared that if we start telling people and then something goes wrong...well...I don't think I could handle that right now. Besides, something just doesn't feel right with this. I mean, no morning sickness, no changes of any sort. What if he's wrong? What if I'm not pregnant?"

"Darling, not everyone has morning sickness. My mother didn't with me and her sister didn't with her children. You maybe one of those lucky women who doesn't. After next week, I'll call my mother. Maybe with the news that she has a grandchild coming she'll give up on her attitude and can talk to you about what to expect. You're carrying a Lars child which means that you will have a miraculous pregnancy. In fact, you probably won't even have to carry the child. He or she will be delivered to our doorstep one morning with the milk and paper. Just think, no weight gain, no mood swings, no labor. Just open the door eight months from now and voila, instant baby."

"I wish." Tara laughed

"Now, come on love. Let me take you out to dinner to celebrate."

"Mrs. Lars, Mr. Lars. I'm sorry that I worried you, but I didn't want to say anything until I was sure. Mrs. Lars, last week when I examined you, I found a small growth on your uterus. I took a small sample of it and had it sent to the lab. It's benign."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that it's not cancerous as I first feared. However, it could still cause a problem later on if it tears away. I don't dare remove it now of course because of the fetus, but after you give birth, I want to remove it. If you develop any more after that, we'll have to decide our best course of action. You claim you've had normal cycles since you were twelve and I believe you. These types of tumors aren't usually dangerous or problematic unless they spread. My biggest concern is that now that you are pregnant, your body will change, hormones will increase. This could cause the tumor to get bigger which in turn could cause you to have a high risk pregnancy. Right now I consider you a moderate risk. But I don't want you to worry. I specialize in this type of pregnancy and I've been able to deliver many fine and healthy babies in the past. I see no reason why this won't happen again."

"And what about Tara's health?"

"There is some risk. I hate to say it because I don't want you to become even more worried than you are now, but actually Mrs. Lars is at higher risk then the baby. This is why I want to see you every week and I want you to follow my instructions to the letter if you decide to continue with the pregnancy."

"Continue with the pregnancy? You mean an abortion?"

"Yes, if you feel this pregnancy is not worth taking a chance on."

"What if I decided to abort and you removed the tumor? Would I be able to get pregnant again?"

"It's too hard to say. In all likelihood, the answer is no."

"What are the odds of Tara losing her life?"

"Poor at best if she follows through with my directions. You live very close to the hospital and it has ambulance service if needed if anything does happen. Right now, the tumor is on the surface of the uterus. It hasn't invaded it. Being benign it probably won't. It could even disappear on it's own though that's not likely. However, it has slightly weakened the surface meaning that if you do any lifting or carrying and you do it wrong, your uterus could tear and you could bleed to death."

"And the baby?"

"If the uterus tears, the baby will die. However, while the tumor is causing a weakening, it is also acting as a flexible sort of plaster. It will protect the weakened spot while the baby grows and the uterus stretches to accommodate."

"So over all, if Tara does everything you say, she should have a normal delivery with little or no risk?"

"There's always a risk even if the mother is in perfect condition, but yes, over all I see no reason why she should have to terminate the pregnancy. Of course, it's your choice. As for a normal delivery, we'll have to wait and see. You may be looking at a cesserian delivery."

"Will I be able to have more children after this?"

"I won't know that until we deliver this one. Mrs. Lars, in all honesty, I would say no. I would not encourage you to get pregnant again. Subsequent pregnancies are likely to cause more tumors to grow or cause this one to spread if I can't remove all of it."

"I want this baby Roger. I'll stay in bed twenty four hours a day for the next seven months if I have to, but I won't lose this one."

"Are you sure darling?"

"Yes."

"Do I have to share my toys with the baby?"

"Yes dear."


	9. Chapter 9

"How about if we stop at your place and see Tara. She might see something in all this that you and I have missed." Steed suggested as he and Roger sat in Steed's Bentley. They had been working on this same case for a week and had finally come to an impass. The trail they had been following had suddenly went cold and both men were at their wits end in trying to pick it up again.

"Good idea. It might help distract her a bit."

"She's still scared then?"

"Yes, very much so, though she's doing a little better now that she's felt it kick and heard it's heartbeat. I wish I knew how to ease her mind about all this, but frankly I'm worried too. If something does happen, Tara will be devistated. You saw how she was when she misscarried the last one. I can only imagine what this will do to her knowing this is our only chance for us to have a baby of our own."

"I'm sure everything will turn out all right." Steed said though it was obvious by the look on his face that he too was worried about Tara's reaction if anything would happen. He knew as well as Roger did that she would blame herself if anything went wrong and it wouldn't be easy to convince her otherwise.

The house was quiet when they walked in. Too quiet. Tara's car was in the drive, so she was home.

"Tara? Where are you love? Tara? Steed, go check the kitchen. I'll check the bedroom and bath. She might be asleep or showering. I wonder where the housekeeper is?" Roger headed towards the bedroom. He looked around, but didn't find her. He didn't hear the shower running, and the door to the bathroom was open slightly, but he decided to check anyway. There Tara lay on her side, her face white as death, and her body curled up in pain.

"Steed! I found her. I need your help!" Roger snapped as he knelt down beside her. He touched her almost timidly, afraid he'd cause her further pain. She moaned and opened her eyes.

"Roger? Something's wrong. It hurts. Oh God it hurts."

"Where love? Where does it hurt? All right. No love. Don't get up. I'm calling the doctor. Stay awake love. Talk to me. Steed, stay with her while I call. Keep her talking." Roger stood up and Steed, who had come at a run when he heard the fear in Roger's voice, took his place. He stroked her hair softly.

"Tara sweetheart. Talk to me. Where does it hurt? There? Okay, just relax. Roger's gone to call the doctor. Just relax. Stay awake for me. That's right, stay awake." Steed took off his coat and placed it over her to keep her warm. The bathroom floor was cold, but he didn't want to move her since he couldn't be sure what was wrong. Steed moved away as he and Roger traded places once again. Roger took Tara's hand into his. She buried her head into his leg and held his hand tight enough to hurt, but he ignored the pain

"I've called an ambulance. Oh dear God, don't let anything go wrong now. Shh love..don't cry. It will be all right. I know you're in pain but it will be all right. Hold on to me. That's my girl. Hold on love."

"Why is she alone? Where the hell is the housekeeper?" Steed asked angrily.

"I don't know, but there had better be a damned good explanation."

Roger paced the floors of the waiting room, his fists clenched tightly. Steed sat in a nearby very uncomfortable chair staring straight ahead. Both men lost in their own thoughts and fears. The door opened and both men jumped as Tara's doctor came in and sat down across from Steed. He motioned for Roger to take a seat which he did reluctantly.

"She's all right."

"And the baby?"

"Fine. This had nothing to do with the tumor. It seems she's developed several cysts now on her uterus and fallopian tubes. Very painful, very frightening, but also very treatable. I'm putting her on an antibiotic and complete bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy."

"She'll have to stay here for five months?"

"Can you hire a full time nurse?"

"Of course."

"Then make the arrangements and she can go home as long as there is a trained nurse there and Mrs. Lars stays in bed. I do want to keep her overnight tonight though for observation. I can't give her anything for the pain right now because of the baby."

"Will the cysts go away on their own?"

"Most if not all of them should. Mr. Lars, I now consider your wife a high risk patient. As I told you before, she's in more danger then the baby. She's done excellently well in following my orders so far, but now I have to be even more restrictive with her. Her diet, exercise, life style, everything will have to change drastically. Do you think she'll have any trouble with that?"

"She won't like it, but she wants this baby too much to put it in danger."

"Tara? How are you feeling?" Steed asked quietly as he entered her room and sat down next to her bed.

"All right. Just tired and sore. Where's Roger?"

"He went off to the gift shop. I think he's planning on having it moved up here. You gave us quite a scare young lady."

"I'm sorry. Oh..my stomach hurts."

"I know it does. I'm sorry you are in such pain, but the doctor thinks it will end in a couple of days once the antibiotics start working."

"I hope this isn't what labor feels like."

"I can't help you there love. I could find out for you if you like."

"No, that's all right. I'm so tired. Steed, tell me the truth. Is the baby really all right? I know Roger says it is, but if he thinks the truth will worry me, he might not tell me everything."

"The doctor says it is. He's more concerned about you love."

"I'm going to hate being confined to bed for five months."

"The doctor says you'll be able to get up for short periods of time, go sit outside for a bit each day to get some sun and fresh air. Besides, I'll be popping in every once in awhile to see you, Mother has already made plans for surprise visits and he's sending Rhonda by twice a week to keep you company. And knowing that husband of yours, he'll keep you laughing during the whole time."

"I know. Everyone is being so wonderful. Mother called a little bit ago and wanted to know if I needed someone to cook and clean for the holidays. Oh no! Christmas is coming in a couple of weeks."

"So?"

"So Roger's parents are coming Christmas Eve and Christmas day. And I wanted to cook a lovely dinner for them both. I haven't finished shopping or wrapping presents, or cleaning. Oh Steed, what am I going to do?"

"You my love, are going to rest, make up a list of everything that needs done, give it to me, and I will oversee the whole operation. That is if I can finagle an invitation from you for Christmas dinner."

"Of course you are invited. Bring your family with you too. We have plenty of room and it will ease any tension that may build up. Mary was irate when she found out I was pregnant."

"Why?"

"She thinks I'm trapping Roger. I think she's always hoped he'd leave me."

"How could anyone carry on such unfounded hatred for so long? I still have no idea why she hates you. What did you do? Tell her there was no Father Christmas?"

"No. I know why she hates me. Remind me to tell you sometime."

"Why not now?"

"Roger might walk in and overhear. He gets angry whenever we talk about it. Besides, he has enough worries on his mind without having to worry about his mother's reactions. She's been civil lately though."

"Really?"

"Well, she's not talking to me, but at least she's not calling me those horrid names like she used to either. "

"What about your father-in-law?"

"He's a dear. He sent over that gigantic teddy bear in the nursery and a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. He rings every so often when Mary is away to see how I'm doing. He was very sweet and supportive when my father passed away."

"What was Mary's reaction with that?"

"I don't' know. Roger never told me. Something horrible I imagine or he would have said something. I so wish I could make her like me. I love Roger so much and I know his mother's attitude bothers him. He goes to see her quite often, but he always comes home looking dejected. I've tried to convince him to let her come over to the house, but he refuses saying he's not going to tolerate her behavior. I told him I didn't mind it very much, but he still says no. I had a hard time convincing him about Christmas. I hope this doesn't change his mind."

"Do you want me to talk to him? As you say, if there is enough distraction, maybe things will go smoother."

"Would you please?"

"Of course I will. Now sweetheart, I must go. Roger should be back very soon. The gift shop is pretty small so it should only take him six or seven trips to bring it all up here. I'll come over tomorrow afternoon to see how you are doing." Steed kissed her forehead gently, frowning slightly at the fact that she felt warm to him. Too warm. He would notify a nurse on his way out. He kissed her one more time on the cheek and left.

Tara lay there thinking, trying to ignore the pain she was in. She didn't have much time to herself though when a nurse walked in with a thermometer, glass of ice water, and a couple of wet washcloths.

"Mr. Steed said you felt a little warm to him. We're going to check your temperature and see. If you are running a fever, we'll see what a bit of cold water and some damp cloths will do for you. You can't have any aspirin yet." The nurse shook down the thermometer and placed it under Tara's tongue. She straightened up the blankets and pillows while she waited for a few minutes for the thermometer to register. She took it out and read it.

"Hmm..yes, your temperature is up a bit. That's to be expected though. Here dear. Drink this and lay back for awhile. I'll be back later with some dinner for you and to see how you are doing. If you need anything, ring."

"How's she doing?" Roger asked as the nurse turned towards the door. His arms were full of flowers, cards, balloons, candy, books, and magazines. Tara laughed to see him. Steed had been almost right. It looked as if Roger had emptied out the gift shop."

"She's running a slight fever. Don't worry though. She should be better by morning."

"Well darling. I brought you a few things to keep you busy for the next twenty four hours." Roger said as he lay everything down on a near by chair. He picked up the flowers first and put them on the bed table.

"Oh wait. Those are for Steed, and hmmm the candy is for the nurses, the cards are for mother, the books and balloons are for me, and the magazines are for you."

"You had better be joking Roger Lars or you may very well find yourself divorced before tomorrow."

"Then you don't like the magazines?" Tara laughed, but groaned as the pain in her stomach increased.

"Oh. Don't make me laugh. It hurts too much."

"I'm sorry love. I know it hurts." Roger bent down in all seriousness and stroked her damp hair and face.

"Tara? Where was the housekeeper today? Why did she leave you alone?"

"Oh don't be angry with her. She went to get something for dinner. I wasn't feeling very well at breakfast this morning and didn't feel like eating. She said she had a recipe for a lovely soup that would not only settle my stomach, but would also tempt my appetite just by the smell. We didn't have all the things she needed so she asked me if I thought I'd be all right while she went to the shops. She really had been gone only a few minutes when I had gone to the bathroom. Suddenly there was that horrible pain. I fell to my knees and I couldn't get up and I couldn't move it was so bad. Laying down helped a bit, but I just couldn't get to a phone to call for help. I thought I'd be all right until she got back to call the doctor. You came in just a couple of minutes later."

"All right. I just wanted to be sure she hadn't left of her own volition. Well, with a nurse coming in you won't be alone for even a minute now."

"You're not angry with her?"

"I'll admit I was at the time I found you, but now that I know the reason why she was gone I'm not."

"Good, because I really like her, not that you would be able to send her away without a fight on your hands."

"I wouldn't even try it love. You have a mean right hook that scares me to death." Roger kissed her temple and then her cheek, and then her mouth, letting her know everything was all right. Roger pulled up a chair and sat close to her bed, holding her hand in his. His finger stroked the wedding band on her ring finger. Tara closed her eyes for a moment, feeling very tired. She suddenly opened them again and looked at him, her eyes seeking reassurance.

"Roger? What if something else happens before the baby can reach term?" Tara asked suddenly, her face lined with fear.

"Sweetheart, don't worry so much. The doctor says if you do exactly as he says, the baby will be fine.

Between the nurse I hired and the housekeeper, you should have no trouble obeying his orders. We'll have a nice quiet Christmas at home, just the two of us this year. I'll be calling my parents tonight and telling them not to come for Christmas, that you need your rest and that we'll see them after the baby is born."

"No Roger. Don't do that. Steed is coming and bringing his sisters, their husbands, and their children. We can't have them over and not your parents."

"That's an awful lot of people in the house Tara. You need to rest."

"I will. Please. I want them to come."

"We'll see what the doctor says. If he approves, then all right."

"I love you."

"Of course you do."


	10. Chapter 10

"Tara! Looking more beautiful than ever. How are you feeling love?" Steed asked as he stepped into the Lars' living room where Tara lay on the sofa reading a book. He bent down and kissed her cheek and then sat down in a chair next to her. 

"The same as I did when you called this morning Steed, and when you stopped by last night. And when you came by yesterday morning. Fine." Tara smiled as she sat up.

"Good. Listen, I can't stay long. Your husband thinks I'm on a paper chase while he spies on the bad guys."

"Steed! He's not alone?"

"Of course not love. Saunders is with him. Don't worry. The bad guys I mean are politicians. There is to be a debate this evening and our assignment is to make sure they have appropriate accommodation See what happened when you left the agency? We've been assigned to babysit and be secretaries."

"Good. So all I have to worry about is...ahh.."

"Tara? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. The baby just kicked. Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I think he's going to end up being a football player."

"Or she could end up a secret agent."

"Maybe. Anyway, why are you here?"

"Oh. I came by to drop off the gift you asked me to pick up for you for Roger. That's a beautiful sword you chose."

"I thought so too when I saw it. Roger loves swords and though he's only started off his collection, I thought this one might be nice." Tara took the long box Steed handed to her and opened it. Inside, nestled in cotton batting, was a long silver sword with leather sheath and jewel encrusted handle. It was by no means a collectors item, but it was handcrafted in old school style and it's slight imperfections made it even more beautiful when the light from the sun reflected on the silver. She looked back up at Steed with a lovely smile.

"It's even more beautiful than what I saw in the advert. Steed, thank you so much for everything you've done."

"It's been my pleasure. So are you ready for the invasion tomorrow?"

"Yes thanks to you. Steed, you must let me pay you for the food at least."

"Now not one more word about that. My family coming over is outnumbering yours four to one. It's only right that I should provide the meal. Besides, my sisters insisted on doing their part so it hasn't cost near as much as you think it would. Anne is making the goose, Laura the pudding, and Amy the pies. With what your housekeeper is adding as well as my small contribution, I think you'll have more then enough food for everyone. Now is there anything else you can think of that might be needed?"

"No. The gifts are wrapped, the cards sent out long ago, the house looks immaculate, the decorations are up. I think we are as ready as we can be thanks to you. I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"You could name the baby after me."

"We have every intention of doing so if it's a boy."

"Tara, I was joking!"

"I'm not. Roger and I talked it over. We want to do this for you for being such a wonderful friend to us. And we want you as godfather."

"I'm touched and deeply honored."

Tara lay on the sofa and surveyed the colorful chaos surrounding her with extreme pleasure. Despite her modern day beliefs, she still enjoyed old fashioned Christmases and this one was one of the best she could remember ever having. Steed's younger nieces and nephews were running around the house playing with their new toys, the older ones reading books or playing and talking over chess sets and other board games. His sisters, the housekeeper, and Roger's mother were all in the spacious kitchen cooking up a feast while all the men of the families were either setting the table or putting together various models and other toys. She looked towards the kitchen when she heard an uproarious sound of laughter come from it. Steed came out with a cup of hot tea and a smile. He came over to Tara and set the cup down on the table in front of her and helped her sit up. He sat down next to her and handed her the cup.

"How are you holding up love?" he asked as he kissed her temple softly.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired and very hungry. What's going on in the kitchen that has everyone in such a jolly mood?"

"You'll see soon enough. Suffice it to say, your husband is behind it all."

"I figured as much." Tara smiled as another round of laughter came from the kitchen again. She looked towards it and laughed out loud when Roger came through the door wearing an Indian head dress and his "fashionable" apron. Roger looked at her with a hurt look.

"What's so funny? You wouldn't buy me a chef's hat for my birthday, so I had to compromise. I thought it looked lovely on me. It brings out the blue in my eyes."

"Your eyes are hazel darling." Tara reminded him with another laugh. Roger came over to her and kissed her while Steed got up and went over to help the women bring out the food.

"Do you still love me even if my eyes aren't blue?"

"Keep kissing me like that and I might become reconciled with it." Tara said as she put her hand on his neck and brought him closer to her for another kiss. They were interrupted by a faked cough from behind the sofa.

"Roger dear. Please act appropriately. There are children here." Mary said with a grimace. Two of Steed's youngest nieces giggled behind her.

"Uncle John, Uncle Roger was kissing Aunty Tara. Ewww." They said simultaneously and giggled again. Their older sisters rolled their eyes at them as Tara blushed and hid her face in Roger's neck. One of Steed's nephews laughed out loud.

"Look girls. I'm going to do it again. Watch now." Roger backed away exposing Tara's face and kissed her again before she could react.

"Ewww!" The two girls fell on the floor laughing.

"Now it's your turn!" Roger said as he released Tara and went after them. The got up and ran to Steed with delighted screams, hiding behind him.

"John old chap. Have you seen two little girls, about so high, hiding around somewhere? They looked like they needed a good kissing."

"Sorry Roger. Can't help you. Have you checked inside the goose?" Steed asked as he pretended to hide the girls from Roger's view with the pies he had been carrying.

"Yep. No go."

"What about that enchanting lady over there. Maybe you could kiss her instead."

"Kissed her already."

"Ewww!" the girls giggled again. Before Roger could go after them, Tara was behind him, holding him back.

"Roger, behave yourself and stop teasing those girls."

"But Tara, I've always teased the girls, ever since I was a little boy. Ask my mum."

"I'm telling you to stop. Or else."

"If I'm good, can I wear the head dress at table?"

"We'll see."

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Ewwww."

"I'm glad I listened to you love. Today has been absolutely wonderful." Roger said as held Tara in his arms that night. She touched his face softly and kissed him.

"I thought so too. Just think love. Next year at this time we'll have our own baby to celebrate with."

"It will be incredible. Tara, next year, wonderful as this one was, let's not have any guests over. I would like it to be just the three of us. You, me, and Tara junior."

"Tara Junior?"

"Yes. When we were in the kitchen earlier one of Steed's sisters asked me if we had decided on a name for the baby. When I told them we had decided on John for a boy they were greatly pleased of course, but my mother questioned it, thinking we should name the baby after me. I told her no, I was under the same belief as my father that children should have their own names and that if we had a son it would not live under the auspicious banner of Junior, or a roman numeral. Anne, then asked about if it was a girl and Steed popped up with Tara Junior."

"He would. We are not going to name it Tara Junior. You said yourself no Juniors."

"Now quote me correctly darling. I said if it was a boy there would be no Juniors. Quite frankly I think Tara Junior is a lovely name."

"Oh you do not."

"Do too."

"Do not." Tara laughed.

"All right. You win. Can I wear the head dress now?"

"No, but you can kiss me again."

"Ewww.."


	11. Chapter 11

"Well Mrs. Lars, we're almost there. Just five more weeks. How are you feeling?" 

"Happy, tired, scared. A hundred different things."

"Well let me alleviate your fears. The baby seems to be healthy and very active. The heartbeat is perfectly normal and he or she seems to be growing at a normal rate. The tumor hasn't budged or grown and you've had no more problems with cysts and I don't think you will have. I think we are going to be safe and deliver by cesarean though. I'm going to start coming by every couple of days from now on to see how things are going. Let's try and stretch this out to as close to the due date of April 27th as possible. From now on, I don't want you out of bed for any reason, not even to use the loo."

"What if I go into labor early?"

"Well, the baby could survive, but it would be difficult as it will still be very small yet, it's lungs and heart wouldn't be as strong as if it makes it to term. Each week that we can postpone delivery will assure a healthier child. One more thing, I'm restricting your diet and you won't be able to take any type of medication unless it's absolutely necessary. Don't even take aspirin unless you check with me first."

"All right. Thank you so much for getting us this far."

"You are very welcome. Do as I say and we'll see if we can't take this just a little further."

"Ahh! Oh god! Oh god! Somethings wrong. Help. Oh please. Help me. Oh god!" Tara cried out horsely as a very sharp, horrible pain hit her hard in her side. It started to ease up only to be replaced with an even worse pain seconds later. She started to feel very faint as she felt wetness flowing down her legs. She tried to call out for help again, hoping that either the nurse or the housekeeper would hear her, but she just couldn't make herself heard. Another pain hit her again just as she realized the wetness was blood. She needed help desperately. She got out of bed, holding on to the nightstand for support. She was only able to take two steps before the next pain hit so hard she screamed in agony just before she fell to the floor unconscious

"Oh dear father in heaven. Mrs. Lars? Mrs. Lars? Wake up dear. Please wake up. Quickly girl, call an ambulance. She's hemorrhaging. Oh dear god. Please don't let her lose this one. We're so close, so very close. Just four more weeks." The nurse grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around the unconscious girl in her arms. There wasn't anything she could do for her except hold her and keep her warm. She tried slapping her white face a couple of times but Tara didn't respond. The nurse reached down and touched her abdomen. The baby gave a weak kick and then another as it shifted. The nurse grabbed the pillows off of the bed and placed them under Tara's legs, lifting them as high as she could to keep the blood flowing to her brain since she couldn't stem the bleeding. She kept praying while she worked, hoping that Providence would step in and save both mother and child.

"Mr. Steed? Is Mr. Lars with you? This is Mrs. Lars nurse. You need to get Mr. Lars to the hospital right away. Something is wrong with Mrs. Lars. No, we are at the hospital now. They've taken her into surgery. I'll explain everything when you get here. Just please hurry."

"Tara's strong and she's a survivor. She'll be all right." Steed said quietly as he and Roger paced the waiting room floor, though Steed felt almost as if his words of assurance were lies. He was almost as scared as Lars was.

"I know she is. I know. God! Why can't someone in this damn hospital give us some answers?" Roger yelled in frustration as he hit a nearby wall. He and Steed had arrived nearly an hour ago to find the nurse in tears. Other than telling them what had happened at home, the only other news she had was that the baby was born and it was a girl. She had no further news and none of the hospital staff that Roger and sought out had been able to tell him anything either. After assuring the nurse that he would call her as soon as he knew anything, she went back to the house to help clean up before Roger returned to it.

"I'm sure we'll hear something shortly." Steed looked at his watch and sighed. Roger leaned against the wall he hit and hid his face in his arms.

"Oh God Steed, I've never been so scared in my life. I can't live without her. I'm going to go mad if we don't hear something soon."

"Then let me save your sanity Mr. Lars. Your wife is going to be just fine." Both Roger and Steed jumped as the doctor entered the room. He smiled at both of them and gestured to two chairs.

"Have a seat gentlemen."

"Tara? She's all right? And what about the baby? Can I see them? Where are they?" Roger spoke in a rush as he ignored the chairs and Steed's restraining arm and hurried over to the doctor.

"Both are going to be just fine. Sit down and I'll tell you everything. As soon as Mrs. Lars arrived, we took her down to surgery and delivered the baby by cesarean. For the life of me, I can't understand how the baby survived. She shouldn't have, but not only has she survived, other then being a little small, she's completely healthy and normal in every way. Her lungs and heart are very strong. As for the mother, now that the surgery is over, she's doing very well herself and is coming out of the anesthesia nicely."

"Oh thank God!" Roger said quietly, the relief in his face showing quite plainly. Steed didn't say a word, but silently agreed with him.

"Absolutely Mr. Lars. Because, to be honest, I really don't know how either one survived. The odds were against both of them when they were brought in here. Now, I need to go back and check on Mrs. Lars. The baby should be in the nursery by now. Why don't you go ahead and go see her. You'll be able to see your wife in about an hour. I'll send a nurse to come get you when she's settled." He shook hands with both men and left.

"Oh Roger! Have you seen her? How is she?" Tara called out weakly as Roger came into her room. He put down the flowers he was carrying and went over to her and took her gently in his arms as she started to cry.

"There love. Don't cry. I've seen her and she's absolutely beautiful and perfect. How are you feeling my love?"

"Are you sure?" Tara asked anxiously, ignoring Roger's question. Despite the doctor's and nurse's assurances, she was still worried about her baby. Especially since she wasn't allowed to go see her yet. The nurse had promised to bring the baby in shortly and Tara was fretting away the minutes in anxiety.

"Oh yes. Judging from the auria she was performing in concerto with two lads in the nursery, her lungs are nice and strong."

"Oh, why was she crying? What's wrong?"

"Nothing darling. She was just giving her first performance, that's all. Just think love, our daughter will be performing live for us only in the privacy of our own home for the next seventeen or eighteen years, though I hope after a few weeks it won't be every two hours. The neighbors might complain. Now love, lay back and rest a bit. You've had a rough day." Roger said as he gently helped her lean back against the pillows. He took out his handkerchief and dried her eyes.

"Oh, I was so scared. I wanted to see her right away, but the nurse said I had to wait a bit. I thought something must be wrong. The doctor had said that she wouldn't be as strong if she was born this early."

"I know. That's what makes this so marvelous and miraculous. She's perfectly healthy, strong, and beautiful. So beautiful in fact, Steed is still at the nursery flirting with her. Or with one of the nurses. I'm not sure."

"Sweet John. We won't be able to name her after him, but at least he can still be godfather." Tara smiled tiredly. Roger sat down and took her hand into his. He kissed her palm and then started stroking her hair and face with his free hand. He had such a serious look in his face that for a moment, Tara wondered if he was holding something back from her.

"Roger? What's wrong?" Roger took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He leaned over her and kissed her.

"Tara darling. Did the doctor tell you what happened? I mean did he tell you why you had to deliver early?"

"Oh, you mean about the hysterectomy? Yes love. He did. It's all right. I knew that chances were he'd have to do it. Don't worry sweetheart. I'm all right with it as long as we have Elizabeth and I have you. I couldn't be more happy and as you said a few months ago, we can always adopt if we want to."

"Mrs. Lars, do you have any idea how much I love you at this very moment?"

"Enough to pour me a glass of water? I'm very thirsty."

"Well, I don't know about that..."

"Looking forward to sleeping on the sofa are we?"

"How big of a glass did you say?"


	12. Chapter 12

"Oh welcome home love." Tara said as Roger helped her out of the car. She kissed the baby's forehead and held her close as she surveyed the house and it's grounds with affection. 

"Come along darling. The sun maybe shining and the birds singing, but there is still a chill in the air and neither one of you should be out in it." Roger said patiently as he took Tara's arm and guided her towards the house.

"I've always loved the spring time and now it's even more precious to me." Tara said as she cuddled her daughter even tighter.

"Yes, yes. Now come along dear." Roger smirked a bit as he continued to pull Tara along.

"You're awfully impatient to get me inside. Oh Roger, please don't tell me anyone is here. I wanted to share our first day at home alone."

"No one is here love. Do you see any cars? It's just that you will spend every waking moment out here if I give you half the chance. You are supposed to be resting, or have you forgotten the doctor's orders?"

"No, I haven't forgotten. It's just so nice to be outside again. I almost hated being stuck inside that hospital for the past week."

"So the nurses, doctors, orderlies, students, patients, housekeepers, families, and friends have told me. Tara, I don't think the doctor released you early because you were doing so well, I think he released you so the hospital could have some peace and quiet." Roger teased. Tara stuck her tongue out at him. They went into the house and straight to the living room where they sat down next to each other, Tara still cuddling the baby in her arms. Roger put his arm around Tara and held her close to him.

"I hate being cooped up for no reason."

"You survived the past eight months darling. One more week wouldn't have hurt you any."

"Then I had a reason. Now I don't. I feel fine."

"You do have a reason and you may feel fine, but you are far from it yet love. I'll feel much better when you put on a little more weight and have some color come back into your pretty face. Tara, please tell me you'll be careful and rest. I'm worried about you."

Tara looked into his eyes. He really was worried. She reached up and touched his face.

"Oh, don't worry darling. I won't do anything the doctor has forbidden. I promise."

"Good. Now listen, I've sent the nurse and housekeeper away for the rest if the day and evening. They will be back tomorrow. As you said, I wanted it to be just the three of us tonight. But, if the baby wakes up during the night, I don't want you getting up to tend to her. I'll bring her to you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal clear love."

"Good. And if you want anything, or need anything at all, you let me know."

"And you'll get it for me?"

"No, I'll make a list for the nurse and housekeeper in the morning."

Tara laughed and kissed his cheek. "I can't think of anything more I could possibly want or need at this moment. Roger, do you think it's possible for anyone to be too happy?"

"If it is love, then I'm in deep trouble. I'm happier now then I've ever been. Now sweetheart, I'm going to go get your bags and such out of the car and then go make us some tea and sandwiches. You rest here and I'll be right back." Roger said as he kissed her once more and headed outside. Tara nestled back into the cushions just as the baby started to cry.

"Oh here angel. Don't cry. Mummy knows what you want" Tara said as she unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked the nursing bra she was wearing. She placed the baby to her breast and stood up. She went over to the rocking chair by the window and sat down in it. She started singing softly to the little girl as she nursed. Roger came in and his breath caught in his throat as he saw the pretty picture the two ladies of his castle made and the sound of Tara's clear, sweet, voice made his heart ache with pride and pleasure.

"If I were to die at this moment, I would die the happiest man in the world." Roger thought to himself as he watched quietly. He stood there for several more moments, afraid to move and disturb the scene before him. After a bit, he quietly went into the kitchen and made the tea.

"Now Mrs. Lars, here now. You've been up long enough. Lay down and get some rest. I'll take care of the baby."

"All right. I'm not feeling very well. I don't know what's wrong. I just feel as if I'm waiting for something to go wrong."

"That's normal. You are exhausted that's all. Oh drat. There's the door."

"I'll get it. Go ahead and put Elizabeth down. I'll just send away anyone who's there." Tara said as she walked slowly to the door while the nurse went into the nursery. She glanced up at the clock on her way over to the door. It was just half past two in the afternoon. She hoped Roger would be home soon, but there was no time table to go by when he was on a case. It could be hours or even days before he returned to her. She had been a bit disappointed that he had had to return to work after only two days of her being home, but she knew how the system worked and she didn't let Roger see her disappointment As long as he came back to her safe and sound, she would be content.

"Steed! This is a pleasant surprise! Where's Roger?" Tara said with a smile as she opened the door a little further and escorted him in. When she closed the door, she took a good look at his face. Her breathing started coming in short hard gasps as she saw how gray and haggard he looked.

"Steed?"

"Tara darling, I'm so sorry, so very sorry. I've come to tell you that Roger was killed this morning. Oh God. I'm sorry love."

"No! No! No!" Tara started to scream in agony as she backed away from him, her eyes filled with horror and pain.

"I'm sorry love. I'm so very sorry." Steeds own eyes filled with tears as he tried to take her in his arms, but she backed away from him. He just didn't know what to say to her. How the hell did someone tell such horrible news to a woman who up until a few seconds ago was perfectly happy with her life? How the hell do you offer comfort after being the one to shatter their entire world?

"It's a mistake. A horrible mistake. It can't be Roger. You go make sure. You're wrong. It wasn't him."

"There's no mistake love. I checked. Mother and I both did."

"Why?! Why?!" Tara collapsed in his arms and then suddenly pushed him away, her wet eyes narrowed in anger.

"How? It was supposed to be a simple investigation! Where were you? What happened?" She yelled at him, her whole body shaking with supressed rage. Steed didn't take her verbal lashing personally. He knew she was hurting with this news, that it had come as a shock and now she needed justification as to why her whole world was being shattered.

"Love, I wasn't there. All I can tell you is that Roger was shot by someone hiding in the warehouse he was checking out. Simpson was with him, but he was investigating another area when he heard Roger shouting at someone and then the shots. Simpson only caught a glimpse of the shooter before he jumped out of a window. He didn't give chase because he wanted to check on Roger, but it was too late. Believe me sweetheart, Mother has every available agent searching for his killer. And if it's any comfort at all, he didn't suffer. He died instantly."

"He can't be dead. He just can't be. Oh please let this be a mistake. It has to be a mistake."

"Tara, I'm so sorry. There is no mistake darling. Come here love. You need to sit down."

"It has to be a mistake. It has to be a mistake. He's not dead. He's not." Steed didn't know what else to say. Tara was in shock and even though she was no longer yelling at him or crying, she could only keep repeating the same thing over and over. Her eyes were large and glassy looking, her face white as death, her body shaking violently. The nurse came out just then with a look of anger on her face until she saw Tara's white face and Steed's grey one.

"Mr. Steed, Mrs. Lars, what is all the noise about? All the shouting was keeping the baby awake. Mrs. Lars, what's wrong? Mr. Steed?" The nurse looked from one to the other, and seeing that Tara was unable to respond, she turned to Steed for the answer. He shook his head as he pulled Tara to him and then tried to walk her over to the living room.

"Help me with her. She's in shock. I'm sorry to say that Mr. Lars was killed this morning during an investigation."

"Killed? You mean he's...oh no! Oh the poor girl!" The nurse's eyes filled with tears as she took Tara's ice cold hand into her own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"He's not dead...he's coming back home soon. You'll see. Any moment now. It was a simple investigation. No danger to it at all." Tara kept muttering under her breath as she stared straight ahead of her. Steed and the nurse pushed her gently down onto the sofa. She didn't seem to notice either one of them, not even when Steed turned her head to look at him.

"Call her doctor and tell him what happened. She's in shock and is going to need a sedative. Ask the housekeeper to bring me out a blanket for her." Steed said quietly to the nurse over Tara's head. The nurse wiped away her own tears and simply nodded as she went off to do as he asked. Steed simply pulled Tara into his arms and held her close. She was quiet now, not saying a word, but also not responding to him. After a moment, she got up and walked into the nursery, bringing the baby out with her a moment later. The child was asleep, but Tara didn't seem to take notice as she went over to the rocking chair by the window and sat down, continuing to stare straight ahead of her. Worried about her present state of mind, Steed walked over to her slowly to try and convince her to come sit by him so that he could keep an eye on her. He stopped suddenly when he saw her face crumble and the tears fall hot and heavy down her pale face and onto the sleeping infant.

To be continued in Heart and Soul, Burying the Past.


End file.
